This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
