I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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