I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i love accidental penises.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
