he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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