So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
