I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Mom said you looked used
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
