last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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