Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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