I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
