My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
