is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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