my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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