careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
