If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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