I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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