they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
