Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize