i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
