I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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