You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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