My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
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