Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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