We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Randomize
