How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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