she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
