I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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