I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
