I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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