Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
