she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
