"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
