i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
