you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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