You work out of a Hotel?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
dude. I can hear the air.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
