winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
