is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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