I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
