Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
