quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
