what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
