I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
