The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
