Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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