Princesses don't give blow jobs
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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