Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
