Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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