You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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