Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
