That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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