sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
