So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
