there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
