he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
