I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
