i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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