I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
