Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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