Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
