I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
