you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
